In A World Where Art Screams…Mentality Listens

Posts tagged ‘pain’

From Self Publishing to Traditional and Why.

As you may already know, I’ve been working on my last draft to my first book in a trilogy series, A Christian Mafia.  Book one is called The Medallion.  I have been praying on whether I should self-publish this book or go with a publisher and I have finally decided.  As the title will tell you, I have chosen to go with a publisher.  The publisher I chose to go with is CrossBooks, which is a division of Lifeway Christian Bookstores.

Why have I chosen to become the self publishing traitor that I so do not want to become?  Am I letting down so many who chose the self publishing way of life?  Am I making the wrong choice?  No.  This is by far the best thing I could do right now for me and my book because of my current situation.  What is my current situation?  Well, let me tell you.

I am a disabled veteran who needs yet another spine surgery.  My back is killing me and it is extremely painful every single day.  Still, I press on and continue to write even though it puts me in a most painful position for my back.  I continue to press on knowing that this book isn’t going to sell itself once I’m done.  I know that the only way I can get it into the hands of the right readers, the readers that will actually read this book and not skim through it, is to market it.  And how am I going to market it in this state?  Well, that’s simple.  I can’t.  I have already tried to market the book that I self-published and it was slowly killing me.  To be very blunt, it is not worth it, definitely not worth it just to say I did it myself.  Oh, yes, granted, I have all the time in the world because of my disabilities.  I don’t work, I am at home, I now have my own laptop and iPad.  But even then, I don’t have a desk or a chair to sit in.  Most of the time, I sit on the floor, laying my laptop on a footstool or I type the traditional way…on my lap.  No matter the way I type, I will still be in pain.  I think even if I had a desk with a $ 1000.00 chair, I would still be in pain.  A chair will not make my disks grow back.

So, in saying all that, getting help from a company is needed at this point.  I really don’t care about the money, if I make hundreds or thousands on the book.  What I do care about is that people will read it.  I want people to read this book.  If it was up to me, I would just give it away, but obviously, I can’t afford to do that.  My desire is to share the gift that God has given me with the rest of the world, particularly those that are meant to read it.  This isn’t a book that’s just for Christians, nor is it a book just for non-Christians.  It is simply a book that anyone can read and feel satisfied that they had just read a good book.  Am I tooting my own horn, not at all.  But I have read enough books to know which ones are good and which ones are not so good.  Okay, Bad.  There, I said it.  Yes, there are bad books out there.  Books that are not worth reading and I hate to admit that because reading is such a valuable use of time, though many don’t agree.  I want people to read this book and afterwards have no regrets on the time spent reading it.  I want them to walk away satisfied.  Sharing just that simple action with the world means…well, the world to me.

I wish I was able to self-publish this book.  I really admire those that take this approach and whether successful or not, they put their blood, sweat, and tears to create something out of nothing.  I don’t feel too bad about my first book, surprisingly, it is doing pretty good for a poetry book.  I have sold more copies than I thought would ever sell.  Plus, it was really written for my sister and my brother and at first, I had no intention of publishing it.  But I felt that it would be wrong not to make it available to those that are dealing with some sort of suffering, and in the end, aren’t we all?

I will write more about what The Medallion consists of.  I will also be asking for reviewers before the book is published.  I would love to get your opinion!  Please leave a comment below if you are interested!  I thank all my readers for being so patient with me, especially with my blogging.  I love you all.  Until next time…


My Second Book Signing!!!

My second book signing was amazing.  I barely have words to describe the experience, but I will try my best.  Let’s start off by saying that this time, I was on time!  Oh yeah!

My husband dropped me off and had to go to work because they called him in on his day off.  So, I was on my own for the first couple hours.  It is always slow in the morning when you first get to the Veteran’s hospital for vendors because everyone is trying to get to work on time.  It’s usually during lunch, which was around the same time my hubby made it back, when people make their way to the kiosks.  I was so glad he was able to come so I could go to the bathroom and get coffee without worrying about my stuff just sitting there in the atrium.  He is a big help when it comes to my book signings.

I was blessed once again to talk to numerous disabled veterans.  One of which was the Veteran I talked about in my last post, John.  He looked so much better!  He truly blessed me with his presence.  I thought I was going to cry when I saw him.  He was dressed so nicely and was getting ready to get his 20-30 stitches out of his arm and get measured for prosthetic legs.  He had a smile on his face and talked to me about how my book was touching him and how it was changing his life.  I assured him it was God, and thanked God for everything.  He, I must say, was definitely the highlight of my day.  I hope I get to see him the next time I go there.

The next thing I will share with you is when several people asked me how I got my book published.  They explained how they felt God moving them to do something with their writing but didn’t know how to go about starting up something.  I told them what I did and gave them the information to CreateSpace where you can publish for free and I got these looks like they had tears in their eyes and they couldn’t believe what they were hearing…for free?  Yes, I explained to them that they would have to, of course, purchase books to sell after publishing, but we both knew that God had brought us together for a purpose.  When you meet someone, whether it be someone new or someone you’ve known for a while, God always has an agenda behind the meeting.  It is wonderful to be a witness to His agenda.

One guy who was there polishing shoes came to me and was inspired by what I was doing, so inspired, that he went and got a few poems of his own to share with me.  Then he brought this beautiful work of art…which I wanted to buy so bad but he wasn’t selling at the time, just to share with me how God is using him.  It was truly amazing to see all the different people who came from different walks of life and how one simple thing as pain can bring you together for God’s glory.

The last experience is about a guy who was reminiscing about when he was a kid during World War 2.  He lived in southern Ireland and recalled hearing something falling from the sky.  He thought as a kid, that it was a car approaching because during that time, everyone would stop and look at the automobiles.  But what he actually heard was a bomb coming in his direction.  Thank God his older sister was there to take cover and the bomb barely missed the two of them.  He went on to tell us the whole story of what happened from there.  This, my friends…to have a veteran share with you such a personal story about their life is truly a work of God.  Only He (God) knows how long he was holding that in and needed to tell somebody about that.

Like I said in my last book signing post, I wish I could just give my books away for free, which I am really considering, at least at the VA hospitals.  And those experiences are the reasons why.

To learn more about Mentality Listens either in paperback or in Kindle edition, visit  You may also visit if you would like to see separate ratings for that site that are not on

Results from my very first Book Signing!!!


It’s been two weeks since my very first book signing! And let me tell you something…I couldn’t have asked for anything more! It was such a good experience for me that I have decided to go back next week. Why…well let’s start out by telling you what exactly took place.

It was the morning of April 27th. My flyer said 8:30 AM but that was actually the time we were stuck in traffic. I was lucky enough to have my husband with me. He helped out a lot. He carried my big poster boards, the camera (which I wasn’t allowed to use, but we didn’t know that), and the books. I remember that that day was one of my “so so” days as far as pain went. I brought extra medicine just in case because I knew that I was going to be sitting down for most of the time I was there. Or so I thought.

I was told that my book signing would be in the cafeteria at the Washington DC Veteran’s Medical Center. They said the Atrium, where everyone sells their items, was booked up for the rest of the year. I was so delighted to be doing my first book signing that it didn’t make a difference whether I was in the Atrium or on the roof! LOL. I was on cloud 9.

When we got there, I went to the Canteen, which is the little shop they have there, to check in. When the lady started saying she was going to walk us upstairs, I told her that I thought we were going into the cafeteria. She asked me if I was told I had to pay a percentage of my earnings. I said yes. She said that in that case, we were off to the atrium. I was thinking, THANK YOU JESUS!!!! Just that small change and I thought, “It can’t get any better than this.” Boy was I wrong.

I did have to stand a lot even though I was provided with a couple chairs because I am so short and the kiosk that I was using was tall compared to me. I looked like a little kid behind this big stand…Lol. But it didn’t matter, I was so thankful to be provided with everything I needed for this day.

Almost every person that came to the kiosk shared a five to ten minute conversation with me about their struggle with pain in their lives. One disabled veteran, who was in a wheelchair, with no legs and just had surgery on his arm, bought a copy of my book and started reading it right in front of me. After about two minutes of reading, he started crying! I was like, WHAT! I didn’t know what to do! It touched me so hard, like a slap in the face from God as if He was saying, Wake up and see what it’s all about! We talked to him for the rest of the day, on and off. I had the same experience with so many people there, but without the crying, some watery eyes, and was so surprised to see that the words I wrote could have such an impact on people! That’s when I truly knew that it wasn’t my words, or the book, but God talking to them on a totally personal level.

To say the least, it was the most touching moment in my life, well, next to my wedding day of course…Lol. It was a beautiful day and I would do it all over again if someone told me I wouldn’t sell any copies.


Hi everyone. I know it’s been a while since I’ve put out a real post. I apologize for that. But all that is going to change now that I have gotten some rather grim news. I have two messed up disks in my neck. It is from having degenerative disk disease. There’s no running away from it. It is just something I have to deal with throughout my life. But I have come to realize that the more pain I’m in, the more I write…hence the many blogs I have…LOL.

In finding this news out, the first thing I did was get on my computer and start typing. I am working on another book. I am not sure when that will be out, but it will be a mixture of different types of short stories, all fiction of course. I also thought about writing on the topic of pain. It is hard for me to write about this topic, as I said on my main website, because I feel like I am revealing a part of me that should be kept secret. I don’t know why I feel that way and I am still battling it out. For example, when people call me, I could be in extreme pain. They say, “How are you feeling?” I say, “Oh, I’m fine,” or “I’m hanging in there.” When what I really want to say is, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Does writing take my pain away? On the contrary, I am actually in more pain when I write than if I am just sitting on the couch watching television. But the difference is when I write, I am getting thoughts out on paper. There’s something about seeing your thoughts that is comforting. You should try it sometime. Just write how you feel for about thirty seconds. Then read what you wrote and see how that makes you feel. Make sure that you do this when nobody is looking or when no one is around. Otherwise, they’re going to want to see what you wrote. And, just maybe, you may not want to show them. If you do this little exercise and find out that it is therapeutic for you as it is for me, then I would like to recommend a site to you that’s absolutely free. It is called It is a private online journal and it is wonderful! It is so therapeutic because you can change the background and the paper you are using; you can also change the font and the color. But be advised that I have a pro account which is very inexpensive, so you can do a lot more with a pro account than with a free account. Still, the basics pertain to both accounts: Security in knowing that you can type whatever you want and nobody will ever see what you wrote, even when you’re dead. You don’t have to worry about people going through your journals like I do once you’ve moved on. You see, I have about twenty journals filled up. I feel like transferring them all to penzu but now’s not the time. I must write for God until my fingers fall off…or until my disks fall out, whichever comes first.


One Key Too Late…Part Two

“Please put the kids to bed.”

Don’t worry bout ‘ol Dad.

Why can’t I find those keys?


“Where are you going dear?”

The door is oh so near…

And so are these deep needs.


“I’m going to get bread.”

“Don’t wait up, ” I said

But she knows just what Bread means


He watched his wife look down

Then she slowly turned around

“They’re in your dirty jeans.”


Is she talking ’bout my keys?


To be continued…

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